The Student Assistance Program
Student Services Department
Student, Family and Community Services Division
Carrollton-Farmers Branch ISD
October 2009
Child Sexual Abuse –
What you need to know to protect children
Child sexual abuse is any sexual act between an adult and a minor, or between two minors when one exerts power over the other. It includes harmful contact such as touching, forcing, coercing, or persuading a child to engage in any type of sexual act. It also includes non-contact acts such as exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, voyeurism and communicating in a sexual manner by phone or internet.
The following steps serve as a guide for educating adults who work with children in preventing, recognizing, and reacting responsibly to child sexual abuse. A child’s safety is an adult’s job. We teach our children how to keep themselves safe from sexual abuse, and that’s important for them to learn. But it’s no substitute for adult responsibility. Even the adults we trust to protect children can’t always be trusted - a large percentage of those who sexually abuse children are authority figures children feel they can trust. Imagine how difficult it is for a child to just say “no” to a parent, a teacher, a coach, or clergy!
Step 1: Learn the facts and understand the risks.
It’s highly likely that you know a child who has been or is being abused.
- Experts estimate that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday.
- The median age for reported sexual abuse is 9 years old.
- Most child victims never report the abuse.
- Sexually abused children who keep it a secret or who “tell” and are not believed are at great risk for psychological, emotional, social and physical problems.
It’s also likely that you know an abuser. The greatest risk to children doesn’t come from strangers but from friends and family.
- In more than 90% of cases, the child and the child’s family know and trust the abuser.
- People who abuse children look and act just like everyone else. In fact, they often go out of their way to appear trustworthy to gain access to children.
- Those who sexually abuse children are drawn to settings where they can gain easy access to children, such as sports teams, faith centers, clubs, and schools.
Step 2: Minimize opportunity by eliminating or reducing one-adult/one-child situations.
- More than 80% of sexual abuse cases occur in one-adult/one-child situations.
- You should never be alone behind closed doors with a student!
Step 3: Talk about it. Children often keep abuse a secret, but barriers can be broken down by talking openly about it.
Understand why children are afraid to “tell”:
- The abuser shames, manipulates, threatens, and confuses the child
Know how children communicate.
- Children who disclose sexual abuse often tell a trusted adult other than a parent.
- Children may tell “parts” of what happened or pretend it happened to someone else to gauge adult reaction.
- Children will often “shut down” and refuse to tell more if you respond emotionally or negatively.
Step 4: Stay alert. Don’t expect obvious signs when a child is being sexually abused.
- Physical signs are not common, although can occur in the genital area.
- Emotional or behavioral signals are more common. These can run from “too perfect” behavior, to withdrawal and depression, to unexplained anger and rebellion.
- Sexual behavior and language that are not age-appropriate can be a red flag.
- Be aware that in some children there are no signs whatsoever.
Step 5: Have a plan. Learn where to go, whom to call, and how to react. It’s important you don’t overreact. When you react to disclosure with anger or disbelief, the response is often:
- The child shuts down
- The child changes his or her story
- The child changes the account around your questions so future tellings appear to be “coached”.
- The child feels even guiltier
Offer Support.
· Believe the child and make sure the child knows it. Very few reported incidents are false!
· Thank the child for telling you and praise the child’s courage. Do not ask questions.
· Notify your school counselor, crisis counselor, or an administrator immediately!
· Report all cases of suspected abuse to Child Protective Services – it’s the law. When a child appears to be in eminent danger, local law enforcement should also be notified. Non-emergency, confidential, online reporting may be done at:
or call
1-800-252-5400
This information was compiled from a program called “Darkness to Light”, a national non-profit organization that seeks to protect children from sexual abuse by placing responsibility on adults. It is presented by Denton Co. Child Advocacy Center at 972/317-2818. For further information go to www.darkness2light.org or contact CFB Student Assistance Counselor Shannon L. Johnson, LPC, NSHS, 972/968-5242.
